Turning the Page to Kindergarten

The end of the year is on the horizon and that brings a rush of excitement and, with it, a fair bit of uncertainty. Young children thrive on routine, familiarity and trusted relationships. Suddenly, there’s a lot of talk about “next year” swirling around and that can be unsettling, especially for those who are leaving preschool altogether and heading to Kindergarten. 

As adults, we often pepper conversations about this transition with enthusiastic comments about making new friends and riding the school bus and being a “big kid.” But for many four and five year olds, what it means is that they are leaving behind familiar teachers, peers, classroom spaces, and daily routines. Even positive changes can be intimidating and young children often express their feelings through their bodies and behaviors more easily than their words. If you are noticing some increased clinginess, heightened emotional reactions, or other changes in your child’s behaviors, it is understandable. Anxiety during times of change is natural for young children, and truthfully, most of us, regardless of our age.

Each child responds to change differently, but here are a few general tips to consider: 

• Find a balance between celebrating the end of one school experience without overemphasizing it. For some children, lots of fanfare leads to more stress because it indicates that this is a really big deal.

• Use simple, positive, encouraging language when talking about the upcoming change. Answer your child’s questions without overloading them with details and information.

• Avoid saying, “There’s nothing to worry about,” or “Don’t be scared.” It’s important to validate children’s feelings, while also sending the message that they are capable of doing things that might feel hard. “I know change can feel scary but I’m confident you can do it and I’ll be here to help you.”

• Model calm confidence. Transitioning to a new school can be emotional and full of unknowns for grown ups too, but it is important to remember that children are highly attuned to their parents’ feelings. If you seem worried about elements of this transition, your child will absorb that and it may increase their own concerns. 

• Acknowledge their mixed emotions. Many children will express excitement about riding the big yellow bus or joining an older sibling at a new school, but may still feel hesitation or worry about the change in routine. It’s helpful for them to hear that it’s ok to feel nervous and excited at the same time. 

Most of all, young children are looking for reassurance that they will still be themselves, even in a new setting. Two books I love for this time of year are Goodbye Brings Hello by Dianne White and Goodbye, Friend! Hello, Friend! by Cori Doerrfeld. Both highlight how endings and beginnings are intertwined and an essential part of growing up. 

Let’s keep learning together, 

Andrea